A first-person continuity narrative linking Vivien, Emily, and Emma—published as a guest submission.

How Derived: Self-reported past-life memories, impressions, synchronicities, and experiential narrative (guest submission)

Researched by: Michèle Bardeaux (author)

Affirmed by: References within the narrative include trance mediumship/Atun-Ré guidance (as described by the author)

Article by: Michèle Bardeaux

Published by: Reignite Reincarnation (as a Guest Submission)

Dear Reader,
On November 5th, 2013, the 100th Anniversary of my past-life birth, I released my book, The Illumination of Vivien Leigh: A Time-Traveller’s Memoir, into the world. It was a book I did not expect to write, about a secret I had kept for almost the whole of my life. But when the inspiration struck, it was like a flash of Light, which came with the knowledge that the time had come. And all at once, luminous messages I had received throughout my life gathered with one another in collaboration. I was to share my story, my unusual and somewhat solitary story, in a book, and release it on the upcoming centenary.

Perhaps, though, in sharing some of my journey here, I should first go back decades earlier, to the time when I was growing up in Canada, far from England, far from Hollywood, and seemingly far from the incandescent visions blossoming vibrantly within me.
For much of my time was spent in my “world within”, where I lived a most extraordinary life. Because I was an actress. And to me that was sacred.
For me being an actress was a spiritual calling, which I was virtually consumed by as a very small child. I experienced this as a kind of pulsating, radiating, all-encompassing fire within me. But also, as a quiet and profound knowing. This had to do with touching and moving people spiritually, and potentially helping them to liberate wounds deep within, that were crying out to be expressed and transformed. Yes, as a small child I knew that the spiritual fire that threatened to consume me, could be an offering, and act as a healing, an expansion, a blessing …

And with this ineffable, passionate world within me, on one ostensibly ordinary afternoon, in a friend’s home, I saw a lone book quietly resting on the kitchen table. I stood motionless, transfixed by the photograph of the woman on the cover. It was as if she were illuminated by an invisible sun.
My breathing stopped for an indefinable moment, as I saw in her eyes, so very much like mine, thesame spiritual fire.
I was about eleven years old then, and the woman had “passed away” approximately twelve years earlier. But even in a Western World, which at that time, had barely, if ever, even heard the word “reincarnation”, I knew I was looking at my own self. Many years later, one year before I received the message to write my book, I had begun having sessions with the world-renowned medium, Kevin Ryerson, and a Spirit he brought through called
Atun-Ré. Atun-Ré confirmed the knowledge I had lived with since I was a little girl, that I had indeed been Vivien Leigh in a previous life. His and Kevin’s counsel have been invaluable to me as I shared with them much of my astonishing journey.

For since my childhood, and throughout my life, I have been blessed with extraordinary spiritual experiences, which involve my consciousness leaving my body and entering Higher Realms, beyond the third dimension. It is in those Realms that I have experienced that time does not ultimately exist
in the way that it seems; and where the “past” and the “future” are happening alongside what one may feel as the “present”. There, time is expressed more as how one may perceive space, and can be traversed as such.
During these astounding journeys, I have often found my consciousness hurtling through what I have come to describe as a kind of “Time-Tunnel”, from which I exit into a different time and space, and in this fashion am able to visit and/or re-experience past lives in the “present”. These experiences have, therefore, been more than a memory, they have been a multi dimensional reexperiencing of those lives, of those moments in time. I could also see how, from a higher perspective, incarnations are not occurring so much in a “linear” fashion, but more in, what could be envisaged as, an all-encompassing present. (Additionally, from this dimensional viewpoint, one can perhaps integrate, more easily, the concept of overlapping or parallel lives, as a Spirit may, at times, incarnate into a “space-time” within which another of its incarnations is already living.) And even further, my travels to the Heavenly World beyond, have reminded me that the physical realms are more, in a sense, like a shadow … like a dream, compared to our Divine Home.
Carried by these numinous experiences, I know myself more from a spiritual perspective than from a “human” one. I know that I am ultimately Spirit, and the roles I have played on Earth are a part of me, so dear to me, but not all that I am. I could see that sharing aspects of this and simultaneously shininga light on some of the mysteries and spiritual meaning of my life as Vivien, was part of my path; the path of both my Vivien life and my present life. Yet, still the idea of releasing a book about this remained disquieting to me, as when
I was younger, I had already moved from a life on the world stage to a far more private life.

Notably, this sudden, heightened longing for privacy came upon me during my modelling career, when I was travelling back and forth across the globe, posing in an almost constant whirlwind of fashion magazines and campaigns. And in one specific, seemingly innocuous moment in Paris, when I was at the home of a friend, this feeling appeared to reach a crescendo, and took hold in a way that was much more acute than it had been before. As after several rather intense years of being so widely photographed, I found, accelerating within me, a visceral hunger for retreat. I had entered a time during which I could not bear to have pictures of me taken on such a scale.

However, because I felt that my acting career was part of my Spiritual Service, I would have kept on my path in Hollywood, despite this aversion, if I could have found a road which did not involve acting in scenes I felt were exploitative of a sacred facet of feminine energy. If someone incarnates to touch the world as a violinist, they are not expected to perform without
clothes. But during that time in movies, it seemed to be almost taken for granted by many that, as an actress, with a certain look, I should. I refused.
I thought of my life as Vivien, and how blessed I was to have had those magnificent movies within which to fulfill my spiritual calling.

But this was no longer that Golden Age of Hollywood. And as I saw how much that world had changed, an uncommon sadness came forward. And it stayed there for a long time. But my solace was that at least I might have respite from a world filled with cameras and attention, and therefore have, to a larger extent, the retreat for which I so yearned.

And I did retreat. I became a virtual recluse. I entered my house, closed the door quietly behind me, and except for my prized, life-sustaining walks by the seashore, I barely left for numerous unfathomable seasons. There, from my new sanctuary, I continued with a spiritual practice I had engaged in passionately since I was a little girl. I wrote. Whether with a pen on paper, or upon a ghostly parchment in my mind—as though I were taking dictation from an aching, ancient part of myself—I wrote. I wrote and I wrote, and I did not stop writing.

Poetry.

I kept these poems in boxes in my closet. Protecting their privacy as though they were an extension of myself. And but for rare exceptions, I shared them with no one. This was simultaneously an expression of an even earlier incarnation. One in which I had lived in a Parsonage, atop a hill, overlooking the wild and blustery Yorkshire Moors. But, Dear Reader, more about that later …

So, this then, was one of my primary trepidations about releasing my book: After everything I had left behind in the “world without”, and from my solitary and hallowed “world within”, which I had worked so diligently to shelter, how could I put my spiritual story out into a domain which often
took delight in attacking the personal and the beautiful? But there are some things that can be known. I knew this was one of those pivotal moments for
which I had returned. And ultimately, I wished to embody my purpose, which sometimes, I have come to (somewhat) accept, involved being seen. Thus, despite my passionate resistance to revealing my secret, I did go forward. I wrote my book, and released it on the 100th Birthday of my life as Vivien.

As it happened, following the publication of my book, Kevin suggested I reach out to Dr. Walter Semkiw, who had a website based on reincarnation research (for which Kevin was a consultant). I did this, and had the pleasure of meeting Walter, as he travelled through Los Angeles, on his way to a vacation spot further south. We met across from the glittering Pacific Ocean, at the Fairmont Miramar Hotel in Santa Monica. There, on a terrace, we dined in the splendid spring sunlight, and spoke of our experiences with
past-life memories and of writing our books. I also shared with him that I had different feelings regarding reincarnation than one might expect, and that I felt it much kinder if it were true that one lives only one life here … or even better, none at all. As, although one can know beauty here, I have found this “world” to have often been excruciating, filled with savagery, and immeasurable sorrow. Instead, I told him, I knew my True Home to be the Beauty and Love of one’s existence in Heaven. But I had been shown that part of my purpose in coming here was to help illuminate a path to liberation … past the illusions that can be devastating in the “physical world” … beyond the shadows … onward and inward to the essence, the Light within oneself, to the Heaven that is. And this was, inherently and ultimately, the reason I had begun to tell my story. Dr. Semkiw listened to me intently; holding a dedicated space for me as I shared with him some of the transcendent, but also intense elements of my journey. And as our visit together drew to a close,
we said goodbye in the lobby of the grand hotel. I was soon to be in Canada for some weeks, and we agreed to be in touch again upon my return.

In the months following, we communicated often, and were preparing to share my reincarnation cases on his website. But, alas, as I knew this would ultimately bring more attention to me, my prevailing desire to live as private a life as possible led us to postpone going further, until I felt comfortable sharing more details of my life.

I continued to work through my resistance of this beckoning path, and as I did, I found that new and wondrous blessings arose. I had come into contact with world-renowned British historian and one of the foremost biographers of Vivien, Hugo Vickers. He showed me tremendous kindness and after several weeks of writing to each other, we hoped that not too much time would pass before we could meet. Thankfully, the chance came quickly, as I was set to make a pilgrimage to England—to another past-life home of mine—where I had lived almost the whole of my life, on the edge of the mystical
Yorkshire Moors. This is the life I touched upon earlier, the life in which I was a poet called Emily.

My life as Emily has greatly affected my present one, and is also one I have visited often, through my spiritual visions and out-of-body travel. My longing to return to my old house; to the parlour, and the bedroom where I wrote my poetry and my books; to that haunting surrounding country—
and even more specifically, a few ancient trees, bent slightly perhaps from the wind, but appearing in my heart, more personally, to be stretching toward me through distance and time—was both aching and profound. And before and after my time there, I would be stopping in London, a city I had, in a multitude of lifetimes (including this one), also called my home. Hugo welcomed me both sweetly and lavishly, and during our dinner, surrounded by the graceful elegance of his dining room, and bathed in the light emanating from the candelabra, I became overwhelmed with unexpected emotion. I soon realized that he and I had been together during the lifetime that came directly before my life as Emily, when I was a lady called Emma.
I shared this with Hugo, on a subsequent visit, after I had had time to integrate my deeper recognition of him. As we sat on his lovely terrace, with the sun poised to set over the long English summer day, I began by telling him of this earlier incarnation of mine, which has also touched my present life so powerfully; a life when I was born in 1765, and during which, much like this time, I was a model, actress, and singer.

told him that I had, as they say, “married well”. And that I had married him.
His name was Sir William Hamilton. As destiny would have it, when I was Vivien, I had portrayed this past-life self in the film, “Lady Hamilton”. Although the movie had exquisitely beautiful aspects to it, I feel that my relationship with Sir William was quite different than it was shown. And that truly, we had a loving union, and this, indeed, has continued in the present as a precious friendship.

Perhaps a subconscious memory within him, that I had, in an earlier century, been his wife, was part of his purpose and inspiration for writing about my incarnation as Vivien. He gave me so much in our life as Hamiltons, and has continued with this generosity. For as a little girl, and throughout my life, l have longed to find my past-life loved ones again. Part of the reason I wrote my book was for them. Therefore, one of the great gifts of my present life, was that Hugo arranged for me to meet with Trader Faulkner, the resplendent actor, writer, dancer and raconteur, who was my cherished friend
in my Vivien life. When Hugo first told him about me, Trader was eager for us to visit, as when I was Vivien, I had often spoken to him about reincarnation, telling him that I knew I had lived before, and felt we were both old souls.
I was reunited with Trader, my Old-Soul Companion, at a teahouse in Kensington, not long after—according to the time in Sydney, Australia, his birthplace—the stroke of midnight of his
Eighty-Eighth Birthday. This glorious timing was natural for him, as it was part of his innate splendour to re-enter my life with dazzling flourish.
From that moment we continued our friendship with immense joy, as if no time had passed, and in 2018 he wrote the Foreword to the Fifth-Anniversary Edition of my book. And with Trader’s and Hugo’s blessings, I have shared some of our tender stories of reunion in my second spiritual memoir: The Light That Shines Upon The Moors: The Return of Emily Brontë

One July evening, close to the anniversary of my “crossing over” as Vivien, Trader and I were sitting in the parlour of his flat in London, having one of our luminescent visits together. All at once, he looked out before him into a hallowed space, and recalled the moment he heard of Vivien’s sudden passing. He had rushed out to the corner outside my apartment at Eaton Square and said to me from the distance:
“Au Revoir …”
Which in French does not really mean goodbye, but rather:
“Until we see each other again …”
And almost half a century later, less than three miles from where he stood, we did. I can hardly speak of Trader now without tears. They are either tears of jubilation and wonder, or sobs of almost unnamable sadness. I know that I have known him in more lifetimes than as Trader. And he has known me as more incarnations than Vivien and Michèle. My relationship with him
continues in the Dreamtime, and in this world, too, as his remarkable Spirit casts his Light over everything.
And along with my darling Trader, my dears—Larry, Leigh, and Jack, my treasured Brontë family, and my beloved Nelson—are amongst those Shining Souls who are helping to illuminate my story. And to Dr. Walter Semkiw … I will always cherish our visit together by the sea. Thank you for your life’s work, for your breathtaking legacy. Thank you. It took me longer than I thought.

But I am here now.
With Blessings,

Michèle Bardeaux

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